Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
