Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
