he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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