erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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