so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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