And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
