butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
