So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
