he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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