Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
