Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
