I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
