She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
