Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
