Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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