I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
