I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
