i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
