Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
