U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
