Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
