So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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