i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
