Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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