my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
