Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Shame is for Republicans.
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