I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
