Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
