I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
