I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Couch. On fire.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
