Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
