Cold hands, warm shart.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
