i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
