is your mom at the bar?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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