Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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