I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
