everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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