I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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