I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
