She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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