We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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