He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
