just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
