I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
