batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
