Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
