Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
