Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
