Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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