I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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