Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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